Moth and Flame
by El Juno
Summary: *For Cynthia's Kensuke Contest* The Digimon Kaizer gets what he wants. WARNING! YAOI!
1. Moth and Flame

  
I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a fic for Cynthia's Kensuke contest. I wracked my brains for hours.  
  
Then, suddenly, at midnight last night, this came to me. Pure and beautiful, a gift from the gods.  
  
Then I spent an hour fixing my mosquito netting because the gods have a sense of humor.  
  
In case I have to say it, this is Ken's POV.  
  
*****  
  
*Moth And Flame*  
  
  
  
Everyone knows how moths feel about flames.  
  
Everyone's seen it, or at least heard the stupid cliche. The moth rushing towards the flame without a thought towards its fate.  
  
Personally, I wonder about the flame.  
  
Does the flame desire the moth as much as the moth wants it?  
  
Is there a split second before the flame consumes the moth, a moment of perfect bliss?  
  
I hope so.  
  
At this moment, I feel like a moth.  
  
My flame lies chained in the dungeon ahead of me.  
  
Daisuke Motomiya.  
  
He calls me as certainly as any flame ever called any stupid moth.  
  
And I can barely stop my freefall into the flames.  
  
I push open the door to his cell with an impulsive movement. He looks up slowly.  
  
"Digimon Kaizer." He growls. "What do you want?"  
  
"Something I never thought I could have."  
  
As he boggles at that, I cross the cell. One stride, two, then I am right before him. I press my body to his, then lean in for a kiss.  
  
I press my lips tightly to his, running my tongue along his lower lip. He fights for a second, then relaxes. His tongue snakes out and touches mine, then dives past my teeth into my mouth. I take the opportunity to run my tongue along his.  
  
He tastes like cinnamon.  
  
After a moment, so long, but not nearly long enough, he draws back, and spits. "I always knew you were evil." He gasps. "I never figured you for a fag as well."  
  
"Homophobic, my Daisuke?" I ask. "I heard that was common in repressed people."  
  
"I'm not repressed." He growls. "And I'm not fucking queer. Let me out!"  
  
I grin and slowly lean in, place the slightest nibble on the tip of his ear. "Not gay?" I ask. "Didn't seem that way a second ago when you slipped me the tongue."  
  
He draws back so fast that he hits his head on the wall, but I am relentless. "Just a second ago." I say. "Just a second ago you were sticking your tongue into my mouth. And I get the feeling that if I gave you the chance, you wouldn't mind sticking other parts of you in me." I reach over and caress his cheek. "You might say no with your voice, but your body would say something else. And I'd rather trust your body than your voice. Much more fun for both of us." I lean over and resume nibbling and licking his ear. "Feel that, my Daisuke? Doesn't that feel good?"  
  
"Yes..." He half-whispers, half-moans.  
  
I rearrange myself so I am right in from of him. Knit a hand in his hair, and catch his eyes with mine before darting in for another kiss. This time I just touch my lips to his and wait.  
  
After a second, he pushes forward against me, almost bruising my lips. That tongue comes out again and I let it slip back into my mouth.  
  
With little more that a thought, his chains disappear. Still locked in our kiss, he lowers his hands and cradles my skull with one while letting the other settle on my lower back.  
  
He could kill me like this. Easily. He could just move that one hand a little, press down, and I'd be dead.  
  
I could die just from the feelings thrilling through my body.  
  
Standing there, with all I ever wanted, I suddenly think of moths and flames.  
  
And I try not to think which of the two I am.  
  
*OWARI*  
  
Okay, that was it, my first Kensuke. See you guys later!  
  
-El Juno  
  



	2. Fallout

I didn't mean to make a sequel to Moth and Flame. Really. But this just kinda came to me last night. Oh, well.  
  
A proper background music for this is Nine Inch Nails' Pretty Hate Machine, 'cause that's what I was listening to when I came up with it…  
  
*****  
  
Daisuke Motomiya flopped down on his bed, deep in thought.  
  
Ohmigod, I kissed a boy...I kissed Ken...the Digimon Kaizer...No, wait...he kissed me...he forced me, goddammit...he's the fucking fag...I'm straight...I love Kari...I didn't slip him the tongue...I...I...I'll think of what I did in a second...and I'll be surprised at how straight and manly it is...  
  
Both times, Daisuke?  
  
That last thought came through in a voice which sounded surprisingly like the voice Ken had used to taunt him...as he licked and nibbled is ear...that had felt good, right even...  
  
NO!  
  
The last thought came through so intensely that Daisuke shook physically.  
  
It did NOT feel right, Daisuke. It was wrong. Massively, massively wrong...  
  
Daisuke was almost on the verge of tears by this point. "It did not feel right." He said out loud. "It DIDN'T."  
  
"What didn't?"  
  
Daisuke looked up to see a small, blue digimon perched on the end of his bed. Chibimon...  
  
God, he didn't even think of what his friends would think...what KARI would think...his chances with her might have been slim, but if she thought he was a fag...  
  
Daisuke let out a shuddering, heaving sob. "God." He whispered. "Let it all have been a dream..."  
  
"Daisuke?" Chibimon nudged his foot with his nose. "What's wrong, Daisuke?"  
  
Daisuke forced an element of false cheer into his voice. "Nuthin', Chibi. I'm okay."  
  
Chibimon shook his little blue head. "Daisuke..." He began.  
  
"I said I'M OKAY. Leave me ALONE!" Daisuke yelled.  
  
Chibimon looked up with tear-filled eyes. "Okay, Daisuke..." He began to hop down from the bed.  
  
"No Chibimon, I didn't mean it. Come back." Daisuke scooped up Chibimon and hugged him to his chest like a living teddy bear. "Something happened. I just don't want to talk about it, okay?"  
  
Chibimon nuzzled Daisuke. "Okay, 'Suke. Was it bad?"  
  
Daisuke nodded. "Yeah." And it was good, too, he thought.  
  
Chibimon looked up into Daisuke's eyes. "The Kaizer did something, didn't he? While he had you?"  
  
Daisuke closed his eyes. "Yeah. I don't want to talk about it, though."  
  
Chibimon nodded and nuzzled Daisuke's chest before falling asleep.  
  
Seems like a good idea, Daisuke thought. If I'm asleep, I won't have to think about it.   
  
It...Daisuke had had two kisses before that point, both with a now-ex girlfriend. Neither had felt the same, had the same smoldering intensity as the two kisses he had shared with Ken...(Ken had FORCED on him...Aw, who was he kidding, anyway?) In the dungeon. He had never felt so worshipped, so worshipful...  
  
"So right." He whispered and raised his hand to his lips.  
  
Oh my god, he thought.  
  
I'm in love with Ken.  



	3. Reflection and Admittance

Part 3.  
  
I don't like this one as much as I like the others, but I'm not sure I really liked any of them in the first place. This is for all of you who convinced me to keep writing this. Enjoy!  
  
*****  
  
The next day, Daisuke faked sick, holding his arm over his forehead until he felt hot, and affecting a hoarse voice.  
  
After everything that had happened to him, he thought he deserved a mental health day.  
  
Chibimon was worried, expecially when Daisuke jumped out of bed as soon as his mother had left the apartment and begun doing long pacing arcs around the living room. After his third time around, Chibimon just jumped up onto Daisuke's shoulder and hung on.  
  
It was easier for the both of them.  
  
However, when Chibimon finally found a spot on Daisuke's left shoulder, he was shocked to find tear-trails dried on Daisuke's cheeks. This had gone far enough.  
  
"Daisuke? What's wrong? You HAVE to tell me!"  
  
Daisuke looked at the ground. "It's nothing. I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"It's NOT nothing, Daisuke." Chibimon nuzzled Daisuke's cheek. "You can tell me."  
  
"Didn't we have this discussion last night?"  
  
"Daisuke..."  
  
"I can deal with it."  
  
"By lying to your mother? By lying to ME?"  
  
"I haven't lied to you..."  
  
"You told me it was nothing. It isn't."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"FINE!" Chibimon jumped down from his spot on Daisuke's shoulder and climbed up to the top of the oven, out of Daisuke's reach. "If you don't want me around, well I don't want you either!"  
  
"Chibimon!"  
  
"Leave me ALONE!"  
  
"FINE!" Damn Ken, Daisuke thought. Why can't I stop thinking about him? His breakthrough of the night before had been basically forgotten (or at least repressed) and he was trying not to think of it. Or to remember his dreams, most of which had involved a certain purple-eyed Digimon Kaizer.  
  
Daisuke collapsed on the couch. Ken's ruining my life, he thought. Even more than before. He's...he's...  
  
Beautiful...  
  
Daisuke sat bolt upright. Where in hell had THAT thought come from? Well, it could crawl back into its hole, because Ken most certainly was NOT. He was an evil fag who had tried to rape me. Goddammit, why should I give even one more second's worth of thought to him?  
  
Because I love him...  
  
Dammit! I don't! I don't! I'm NOT THAT WAY. I love Kari...Ken...KARI...Ken...kari...Ken...Ken...Oh my god...  
  
"I can't stop thinking about it..."  
  
"Thinking about what?" Chibimon had hopped down from his spot on the oven and was looking at Daisuke with worried eyes.  
  
"Chibimon...I..."  
  
"Tell me. Please. I want to know."  
  
"I can't stop thinking about him..."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Ken...The Digimon Kaizer..."  
  
Chibimon gave a little grin and hopped up next to Daisuke. "Well, of course. He's..."  
  
"Not like that."  
  
"Then like what?"  
  
"Chibimon...do you know what love is?"  
  
Chibimon grinned again. "Of course. Didn't you tell me you loved Kari?"  
  
Daisuke rested his head in his hands. "I don't think I do anymore."  
  
"You love Ken?" Chibimon guessed.  
  
Daisuke nodded.  
  
Chibimon was about to smile again, but he noticed that Daisuke was still unhappy. "Well, he's evil...but that could change...maybe...it's okay..."  
  
"It's not that. Well, it is that, kind of. But it's not, too. Ken's a BOY."  
  
"So are you."  
  
"Exactly. Boys don't love boys. They love girls."  
  
"But you love Ken, so that's not true..."  
  
"No. That means that this is wrong. I can't love him, because we're both boys."  
  
Chibimon cocked his head. "But you love him...how is it wrong?"  
  
"It just IS." Daisuke sighed and looked up. "You won't tell the others, will you?"  
  
Chibimon shook his head so hard that he fell off the couch. "I won't"  
  
"Good. They can't know. I just...just...I'll get through this..."  
  
"Can I ask how you figured this out?"  
  
"Ken kissed me. And I kissed him."  
  
Chibimon climbed back up on the couch. "You kissed him?"  
  
Daisuke nodded.  
  
"Then he knows?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Oh." Chibimon squeezed into Daisuke's arms. "It's okay."  
  
Daisuke hugged back and forced a smile onto his face. "It will be. Soon."  
  
Chibimon didn't ask what he meant, though he had a strange idea he didn't want to know.  
  
*****  
  
Next time I think we'll check back in with Ken.  
  
Happy something, People! 


	4. Control

Part four? Already?  
  
Yep! I couldn't get this to work for a while, but you'd be surprised what enforced convalescence will do to your creativity. (Especially if you can get into that "Evil and angry frame of mind from hearing friends and loved-ones badmouthing Digimon in front of you. Grr.) So, here we go! Back to Ken.  
  
*****  
  
  
Ken sat on his throne, fingers to his lips.  
  
He was here, he thought. I kissed him. I could have had him.  
  
He got away.  
  
Ken remembered the feel of Daisuke's hands on him. The feel of Daisuke's lips under his own would be seared on his memory forever, as would the taste of his mouth.  
  
Cinnamon...  
  
And, most importantly, Ken remembered the look in Daisuke's eyes as he moved in for a kiss. Daisuke had been afraid, yes, but not of him. He had almost seemed afraid of himself.  
  
I wish he was still here, Ken thought, then shook his head. Don't think that. You don't need him. Remember, moths and flames. And what happens to the moth at the end? Poof. Do you want to be poof, idiot? Do you WANT to die?  
  
Ken clutched his hands into fists. No. I don't want to die. I don't want to lose anything.  
  
But...  
  
This could happen. All it would require would be... "I'd have to be in control. And he's already shown that he can deal with it. Not well, but that can be worked on...of course! Wormmon!"  
  
The small green digimon crawled in. "Yes, master?"  
  
"I have a plan. Get an airdramon ready."  
  
*****  
  
Well, I love you all and I'll see you in part 5!  
  
Later!  



	5. Confrontation

You didn't really think I'd leave it like that, did you? Nope, I was writing at 3am again, yet another gift from the gods. And yet another fight with the bloody mosquito netting. *Sigh*  
  
*****  
  
Daisuke trudged through the Digiworld, Veemon at his side.  
  
"Daisuke?" Veemon asked. "You still haven't told me what we're going to do when we find the Kaizer. Or why we couldn't bring the others."  
  
"We couldn't bring the others because they wouldn't understand, and when we find him..."  
  
"What WILL you do? I'm DYING to know." Ken appeared over the ridge, hopping off the back of an Airdramon.  
  
"Ken! Veemon..."  
  
"Send the thing away and we'll talk, my Daisuke. No tricks, I promise. See?" With a wave of his hand, Ken sent the Airdramon off. "Just you and me."  
  
Daisuke stopped. "What?"  
  
"You heard me.  
  
Daisuke sighed. "Fine. Veemon, wait for me."  
  
"But Daisuke..."  
  
"I be okay, Veemon. Just go."  
  
Veemon sighed. "Okay, Daisuke. Yell if you need help." And Veemon hopped off out of sight.  
  
Daisuke and Ken stared at each other for a few seconds before Daisuke broke the silence. "What do you want, Ken?"  
  
"Can't you guess? I was quite enjoying myself until your friends broke up our little party, and I was wondering if you were interested in a repeat."  
  
Daisuke flinched. Visibly. "Ken..."  
  
"You know, I wouldn't let most people call me that, my Daisuke. You, I let get away with it without a second thought. Can you guess why?"  
  
Daisuke stopped and looked at the ground. "Now, as I was saying..." Ken began, moving close to Daisuke.  
  
Daisuke pushed Ken away. Hard. The Digimon Kaizer lost his balance and fell backwards, hitting his head on a rock.  
  
Daisuke's hands scrabbled behind him, finding a large stone. He lifted it up into the air, over the unconsious Ken...  
  
And couldn't bring it down. He physically could NOT lower the rock onto Ken's head. Something stopped him.  
  
"Oh, Shit." Daisuke muttered. Then he reached over and touched Ken's head. He's bleeding pretty badly, Daisuke thought. What do you do in a situation like this? Elevate? Compression?  
  
Those both sounded like great ideas, except there was nothing to put Ken's head on. Except...  
  
Daisuke sat cross-legged and made a pad out of his jacket on his lap. Slowly he lifted Ken's head, resting it on his knees. I can't stay here long, he thought. I sure don't want to be here when he wakes up. But I can wait until he stops bleeding, or breathing, whichever happens first. He peeled off his gloves and made a pad out of them, which he pressed to Ken's cut.  
  
Daisuke tried the hardest anyone ever has to avoid looking at someone who's head is resting in their lap, especially if they're holding a hand to a bleeding scalp wound.  
  
It didn't last long, though. Slowly, Daisuke found himself entranced by Ken's face. Without much conscious thought, he lifted the fingers of the hand that was not applying pressure to Ken's scalp and began tracing the lines of Ken's face with his fingertips.  
  
He is beautiful, Daisuke thought, and didn't even bother to chase the thought away. It was a lost cause, anyway. He's very beautiful, even like this. I shouldn't have pushed him. I definitely shouldn't have tried to kill him.  
  
The wound slowly stopped bleeding, but Daisuke didn't leave, barely dared to breathe. Finally, Daisuke realized he'd been there too long when Ken's eyes opened and locked on his own.  
  
"What happened?" Ken asked, a bit groggily.  
  
"You...fell."  
  
"And how did THAT happen, my Daisuke?"  
  
Daisuke didn't even try to lie. "I pushed you. I'm sorry, Ken."  
  
Ken closed his eyes. "You should go."  
  
Daisuke nodded. "What about..."  
  
"One of my slaves will take care of me. Go, Daisuke."  
  
Daisuke gently lowered Ken's head and stoop up, ignoring the drying blood on his hands and pants, He began to walk away.  
  
"Daisuke?" Ken's voice came out, quietly.  
  
"Yeah?" He returned.  
  
"Come back soon. Without your friends again." Ken said.  
  
Daisuke nodded, knowing Ken likely couldn't see him, and walked over to where Veemon was waiting before returning to the real world.  
  
Ken didn't call for a digimon right away, but instead lay on the ground, head pillowed on his arm, and thought for a long time.  
  
*****  
  
End Part 5  



End file.
